:] ;

This is actually sadly true.

However, I've learned a lot about myself and mental illnesses; realizing that I'd love to work in the field of counseling.

Again, I've learned a lot about myself. But I also over came my mental illness. Depression isn't so hard to fight off some days than the latter. My anxiety has toned down a lot, and I smile more. 

I really hope I made and can make the same impact on your life.

not good enough;

I don't understand why to my mother trying my hardest to get through the day, to remember to breathe and accept the heartbreaking fact that the boy that meant the most to me isn't coming back is not good enough.

just listen;

 

warfare;

I think it finally hit me today. You were my first, the person I waited for. We were at our most vulnerable, our most breakable position; I showed you all of me and you, I and this how it turned out.















Doesn't it hurt you too?

trytrytry;

It seems like you're getting the grips of what you're starting to lose.

Try harder.

what you're most afraid of is worthwhile;

She will chase you around for a while, 
but there's going to a day 
when she's going to stop running in circles around you. 
She's going to get over you 
and at that moment 
you're going to wish you had let her catch you.

headed for a heart heart heartbreak;

Dear Cameron,

You broke everything inside of me. I didn't know I could feel this way, especially this deep. Avoiding me is just making it worse. Why can't you just own up to what you did and just deal with it? Are you afraid that it may take a while for me to forgive you or are you just afraid that I won't forgive you at all? You aren't the boy I fell for, you aren't the boy I let my walls down for. You changed. Somewhere in the two months that you have been "hanging" with your "new friends" have been a disaster. I was always there for you when you needed me, even when you were completely mean to me. And the one day, the one day I needed you, you failed to do so. I didn't think you could be just like Branden. Just like my father. But guess what? You proved me right. You're just like them. You know what hurts the most? I gave it up to you and you make it seem like that's all you wanted. I believe that's why I'm crying so much. You make me cry. Every. Day. Ignoring won't do you any justice, it's just going to make it worse for you on your part when you have to see me on the weekends. When you know you're going to have to look at my face and see how much you've hurt me. I'm not ashamed of how much I hurt, I'm not going to hide it neither. Of course, I'm going to be nice to you. Of course, I'm going to keep it civil and so are you. But you will not flirt with me when we work. You will not favor her over me just because of the bullshit that comes out of everyone else's mouth. I worked so hard to not get hurt again, to feel good about myself, to make sure I let someone like you in. Someone like you when you were really you. All I ask for is an apology. That's all. Why can't you give it to me? It's  breaking, aching and all I want to do is tear my heart out. Doesn't that matter? I could have fallen in love with you, I could have given you everything. If you would just apologize and make things right, I'd try too. But you're not trying and you won't try anymore. You run away, you give up. Ever think about my feelings and not just yours? I never told you how I felt and I vowed to tell you so I don't regret it, but you never gave me the chance. Are you afraid that you might feel the same way too? I'm sorry that you're afraid because I was afraid too. I wish you could trust me enough. I wish you were here. I wish I was happy again; happy with you.